Talking about Assisted Living with your Parents

Many seniors are resistant to accepting the fact that they will need more assistance with daily tasks than they used to need. They may be becoming forgetful; letting bills go overdue, forgetting to take medications, or even neglecting to bathe or eat regularly. While having a conversation with your parent may feel awkward and difficult, it is in everyone's best interest that your parent receives the appropriate level of care throughout their senior years.

Try broaching the subject before need is imminent. While nobody wants to think about these things when all seems well, planning ahead is one of the best things you can do to ensure a future transition is as painless as possible. People are much more likely to be receptive to care suggestions when they are physically and mentally healthy.

One way to bring up the subject is to mention a relative or friend who is in an assisted living facility and ask your parent what they want if they are unable to care for themselves in the future. A lot of parents do not wish to burden their children and may refuse to discuss the issue, but even by just bringing up the subject, you've given them something to think about and they may be more likely to discuss it later on. Continue to bring up this discussion with your parent until you've reached a plan that is suitable for all involved. You may also wish to ask your parent's doctor to speak to them about assisted living or care giving needs. They may be more comfortable and realistic discussing this with a non-family member.

Including siblings and other family members in the discussion will help provide a united front and ensure consistent advice. This will also help to prevent future disagreements about what is the best next step throughout your parent's elderly years.

If your parent is currently in need of some sort of assisted care and you haven't had a prior discussion about care options, it may be more difficult to convince them to take the next steps. A lot of the apprehension that seniors have about assisted living facilities is the lack of knowledge or understanding of how these facilities operate. Try visiting a few facilities with your parent and meet with a representative of each facility to ask questions and learn more. Assisted living may not seem as daunting when you have the facts. Unfortunately it sometimes takes an extreme circumstance such as a medical scare or a fall before your parent realizes the extent of their care needs and is willing to take the next steps.

Above all, listen to your parent's wishes. This is their life and they have a right to live and die in a manner that is most comfortable to them. Of course, you may need to step in if your parent can no longer make decisions for themselves or if they continue to make decisions that are detrimental to their wellbeing.